3.12.2017

to those who jumped for me in seaside


To say we had an amazing time in Seaside, would be an understatement. This year though, carrying my "big" camera with me day in and day out was not a priority. At the very end of our trip, pretty much our last full day, I finally asked a few people to jump for me.

To all of you jumpers, thank you for being patient in getting your photos. I told you I would post them here, but actually, if you don't mind, please go to my Facebook page and there you will find all of your photos.


2.01.2017

maybe it starts now...


I'm not sure if I really started the new year on the first of January. 

Of course I want to believe that I did, because that's what we do. That's what we all do. Right? We get a new planner or a new calendar and it's all pretty with lots of blank boxes to fill up and lines to write on and then to make it extra special, we get a new pen to write with and then all of a sudden we blink and it's February and we wonder where we've been and what we've been doing. Or wait...maybe that's just me. 

All I know for sure is that today, the first of this month, feels more new to me than it did a month ago and I'm okay with that. But when March shows up and if this same feeling washes over me again...well, it's going to be one strange year.

Oh and the bird, you ask. It's an older photo, but it was taken here in Florida and since that's where I am right this minute and since the same bird showed up today while we were eating lunch {okay fine, it wasn't the same bird but they all look the same} and ate a chip {hold the guacamole} right of my hubby's hand, I decided the photo was worth sharing a second time.

1.28.2017

If I could, I would



And it's not that I can't, it's just that I don't want to.

This is what it looks like outside right now, but it's an old photo. I used to go out in almost any weather to capture just about anything and I wasn't ever really too phased by the cold, or the moisture in the air, but wow...that's changed. I've changed. 

Let's blame it on menopause...as it's kind of the answer for everything these days.

Anyhow, I used to think that I had to chase anything and everything and photograph it, especially nature, but I don't really do that in the same "oh my gosh, the snow and the birds and the clouds and the trees and oh, did you know I own a "big camera" so get out of my way, here I come" kind of way that I used to. 

But when the weather is cooperative. And by cooperative, I mean warm. And by warm, I mean above 40 {who am I kidding, let's say 50} degrees and preferably with the sun warming my back, confusing me and making me believe that my favorite blanket is wrapped around my shoulders, off I go to get "lost" in the tiny world I see through my lens.

You might be saying, what?..."the tiny world you see"...and think I've totally lost it, but I truly believe the world, as huge as it is, is tiny when you get to decide what you really want to see, especially through a camera lens, what you really want to remember, what you really want to document and what you really want to talk about, even with strangers, when the day is done.

So, rambling the way I often do when I sit here and type, let's raise our glasses to what we see, our ability to share with others and what we find special enough to remember on any given day ...oh, and to menopause, which doesn't totally suck by the way.






1.12.2017

eight months to the day


Eight months ago I fell into a black hole. 

Well, not a real black hole. It was more like a soft charcoal grey. And it wasn't really a fall, like where you quickly hit the ground with your limbs all askew while you sheepishly look around in hopes that nobody saw you. Instead, it was like that misstep that happens when you're walking and you're sure there's a curb in front of you and nope, no curb. Just more sidewalk.

Granted, no matter how I describe it, all it really means is that I haven't been here.

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea if I'll be back here regularly, but I want to try. I like it here. A lot. I love writing and sharing my photos and for years,  my blog was thee place for me to do just that. Blogging was a way of life. Blogging was part of my artistic life. Other bloggers were like family. My computer screen, a sketch pad of sorts.

And then along came the enormity of Facebook....and the beauty of Instagram.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing those platforms at all, as they certainly have their places in our daily lives, but they're different and for me, sometimes I just need something quieter.

We live in a "quick" world. A world of immediate gratification and unlike the above mentioned,  blogging takes time and patience and somedays, actually most days to be honest, I lack that. Patience is a shortcoming of mine.

But now that 2017 is here and I'm finding myself filled with so many new thoughts, ideas, stories and simply things I want to share, maybe I'm being called "home." Maybe I'm being called once again into the gentleness that lies here in the blogging world and away from the "rat race" out there.

I know there are many other bloggers who'll  be able  to relate to the words I type here tonight and are possibly feeling the same way that I'm feeling {as so many other blogger have also fallen into that same black hole} so I'm praying that maybe, just maybe, they're also feeling the pull, the need and the desire to come back "home," too.




5.12.2016

basically a huff and a puff should do it




a dilapidated building in the quaint little town where we lived two summers ago, is thankfully
 still standing…barely... and i was thrilled to see it again. 

the roof is more caved in, if that's even possible and the nailed on back door to keep trespassers out, is no longer doing its job, but otherwise, it was like visiting an old friend.


even with the back door all askew and it practically begging me to crawl through it, i didn't. if it had offered me a helmet, steel toed boots, work gloves and a "help, i've fallen and i can't get up" necklace, well then i would have…not.  i mean i'm sure my up-to-date tetanus shot would have kicked in the moment a piece of jagged metal ripped through my jeans and into my leg, but i truly believe some things are meant to just sit ready and waiting, like a tetanus shot for example,  instead of actually being used.



you have to admit, the place kind of draws you in, doesn't it? deep down, you want to see more of it, don't you? or are you secretly wishing you weren't here right this second and that i'd go and take photos of herons flying over a pond instead?




but really…look...even the weeds see this building as the most perfect place to grow. maybe we could learn something from them. you know...that whole "bloom where you're planted" thing. 
or not. 
i mean sometimes where we're planted sucks and you just have to make the most of it. right?  
just keeping it real people. just keeping it real.

{written while in a coffee shop with lots of distractions…obviously}

5.04.2016

oh, and what do you do?




For years and years before my husband retired, I was an executive's wife often finding myself at awkward gatherings and being asked, "oh, so what do you do?" OR "so, where did you go to school?" and I couldn't help but always think, really? That's the best you got, huh? That's what you really want to know about me? 

Strange... 

because I would have loved to have told you how I'm passionate about photography and writing  and how nature calms my nerves or how I have the tendency to fall into books and devour them and that I'm fortunate to remember all the corners of my grandmother's house.

But you didn't ask. 


So today…it's your turn 
and 
I'm asking


WHAT
are you

believing, devouring, enjoying, forgetting, remembering, noticing, loving, questioning, holding, feeling, watching, cherishing, choosing, making, needing, wanting, anticipating or realizing

and
most importantly
what are you passionate about
~~





this post was written as part of the bella grace blog hop in recognition of 
and 
one lucky person will win a copy of the current bella grace magazine, just by leaving a comment here on my blog. a winner will be chosen on wednesday, may 11th.

3.24.2016

the shadows are the icing on the cake



i know. i know. more photos of the house i know nothing about.

actually, i do know something about it. 
it continues to beg me to come back.


3.15.2016

you should have been saved...


last week, when we should have turned right, we went left. 

i had been told about a hiking trail whose name was foreign to me, so when the weather begged us to come out and play last week, away we went. at a very dangerous "yield if you want to" three way corner, we should have veered right, but with the skewed signs holding names of roads that were just too similar to each other and hard to read, we veered left instead.

i'm pretty much a stickler for directions, having even written them down on paper before we left, but  i'm a sucker for backroads and always feel that if you're going to go off the beaten path, by choice or by  mistake, backroads are your roadmap to finding the beautiful things in life.






i'm not sure how to describe the amazing, abandoned property we came across, other than breathtaking. it was instantly obvious that back in "her" day, this house and her barn and all of the outbuildings surrounding her like children who never wanted to stray far from home, had been taken care of with hands who loved her and still love her and all that she has to offer. 

someone still shows up. someone still keeps the grounds as manicured as one can when land becomes nature instead of a lawn and is now filled with animals and rodents that have taken up residency in and around it. someone remembers what it was like to live here, or to visit here and someone still cares. 

funny. now that i think about it, maybe that's all there really is to life and all that we really need…someone who shows up and someone who cares...

anyhow, we did eventually find the hiking trail.

the mud, camouflaged by multicolored leaves lost when the winds blow in and make fall disappear into winter, made walking treacherous. other times, when my legs felt heavy with each step, i believed that this must be what quick sand feels like. had i been alone, the first slip of my foot or the sucking feeling the mud was enjoying, i would have turned around and headed straight for the car, but my hubby said, "we can do this" and after having not hiked for months, i had to agree. we could do this. 

finally at the top, the trail opened up and even though it was quiet and the sky felt like i could touch it and i could see for miles, mother nature was too late to impress me that day. the hands of humans had already done that.

3.09.2016

we took the wrong road, but found something right




the hiking path was ridiculously slippery and with each step we took, the heavy thick mud hiding  underneath a blanket of leftover leaves from fall, grabbed our feet just daring us to keep going.

so we did.

{i'll spare you the gruesome  details of what our shoes look like}

obviously, spring has waltzed her way into wisconsin and both yesterday and today, we slow danced with her. yesterday, was a road trip to the above mentioned hiking trail, where accidentally taking the wrong road to find it led us to the most amazing abandoned homestead ever {photos to come soon} and today, well today i needed groceries. 

grocery shopping without a winter coat on is a gift. a gift i tell ya!

and tonight…tonight we're firing up the grill. oh yeah. hellllllloooooo steaks!!!


3.07.2016

all curled up in the time out chair


i'm not really serious about punishing myself for not being here for over a month, 
but yet, i kind of am.

so hello {beautiful old it hasn't been sat in for 30 years and was found sitting in the cottage we're going to renovate} time out chair.

writing down the words {that fill my head to capacity} and sharing them here side by side with the photos that magically {almost beyond my control} fill my phone or camera, has for years, "been my thing." lately though, "my thing" has been out to lunch. oh hell, who am i kidding?  "my thing" has been out to breakfast and dinner, too and then taking every opportunity to disappear during snack time.

maybe this is simply "just winter." and maybe this is just what winter wants us to do. maybe we're supposed to slow down, sleep a little bit later on those dark cold mornings, feel lazy, be lazy, drink more tea, wish we were at the gym when we're eating chips and then contemplate the writing and sharing that we want to do, yet find impossible to actually do because we're too busy doing and being what i mentioned above. or maybe this is just winter being an ass.

all i know for sure is,  i haven't been here...yet my notebook is filled with ideas and quotes and words and things i want to remember and share, and i'm fine with that being enough…or at least i convince myself tell myself that i'm fine with that being enough. sheesh, what it is with women always having to remind themselves that we are enough…and that what we do or don't do is enough?

deep breath...okay...and now, if you're still with me, i have a few things to finally share:

1. i love elizabeth's blog and truly wish that she was my next door neighbor! our husbands have so much in common! they're both married to crazy women :)

2. i absolutely do not need this, but i love it.

3. i want this. then i want to live like that!

4. the opening day of this movie is on my calendar.

5. this is my new best friend…especially in my laundry. see, you really don't need stinky makes me choke and my eyes water scented laundry detergent. we are humans and were never meant to smell like a moonlight breeze, tropical sunrise or apple berry twist. seriously, give me a break!