taking it all in

we only have two weeks left here in our tiny temporary town, so i'm absorbing as much of it as i possibly can. when the day comes to move, i plan on waddling away like a water filled sponge, having soaked in as much goodness as i can possibly carry with me.

down the road from us…actually everything here seems to be down the road from us…is a beaten up garage filled with discarded pieces of weathered {maybe once loved} junk and garbage begging to be taken away. while wandering around inside, there were smells that could have stopped me, but as a photographer i have learned to get past the fact that perhaps raccoon poop is filling the crevices on the bottom of my shoes or that at any moment a bat could come flying out at me, especially when i can see something beautiful. something unloved and sitting all alone. obviously, this car was all of those and more. can you even imagine the stories it holds. my dad will love these photos.

just as beautiful and without a possible raccoon poop hazard, is this butterfly above and the building below. the building is getting a makeover and we have fallen in love with it. if it wasn't already owned by someone, i think we'd be inquiring as to how to make it ours. the bottom will be a store front and there's a 2 bedroom apartment above. this photo is actually the back of the building. 

we often play around with the idea of "what if we did have a store front…what would sell?" and then the dreaming begins. so dream with us and tell me, what would you sell if you had a store front?

happy labor day weekend

sultry

there's a kiln in my neighbor's backyard and i'm guessing it's very similar to what the air outside feels like right now. stifling. hot. sultry. call it whatever you want and hate it with a vengeance if you must, but i don't mind it. seriously, it doesn't really bother me. you know what does bother me. snow bothers me. so summer, with your warmth and so many other things that i love. you win. winter. you lose.

i hope whatever you do this weekend, it fills you to the brim with love and hope and wonderment. oh who am i kidding. i hope it's filled with brats and juicy burgers and your favorite drink to wash it all down with. wait, and cheese curds. fresh squeaky cheese curds, too. you can't forget the curds!!

transitions

last august our daughter left for australia…for nine months. we had never been apart for more than six weeks, so obviously it was hard and tears were shed, but this was something she wanted to do so we supported her with everything we had. surprisingly, those nine months flew by for all of us and when she returned with her newfound beautiful wings, we smiled. what a gift she had just given herself. 

then, october showed up and so did retirement. after years of moving with a corporate ladder always in front of him to climb, my husband was done. finished. and this is where, to the surprise of many, there's a big smile on my face. "is he driving you crazy yet since he's home all the time" is what was always asked when we mentioned his retirement. we laughed about it and yet had to wonder…what? is retirement supposed to be hard? on me? on him? well if it is, it's been maybe the easiest hardest thing we've ever done.

in march we sold our house and in may we moved to a fabulous rental apartment in a tiny town forty five minutes away. we've moved before. a lot. but no matter how you move, where you move or when you move,  A MOVE IS A MOVE.

then in june, we started building. every waking moment we have, has somehow been focused on or associated with everything new house related. it's exciting and frustrating and overwhelming all rolled into one big "carpet-drywall-tile-hardwoods-plumbing fixtures-door hardware-paintcolor-counter tops-cabinet-lighting" fur ball. the kind of fur ball that even the cat who hacked it up walks away while signaling, "there's nothing to see here folks…just keep on walking."

if you're still reading this, you've already figured out what comes next. yep, another move. ahhhhhnoooooother move. move number sixteen. in twenty nine years.

the experts say that a move, retirement, a death, building a house, a divorce, a new baby, a child leaving, issues with in-laws, etc. are some of the biggest stressors anyone can go through. i wonder what they say when you have five of those stressors happen to you in one year?

enough

i turned fifty last week

when i woke up on the morning of my fiftieth birthday, the sun was shining and the birds were singing and that was all i needed. that was enough to make this girl smile. there weren't any party hats with pinching elastic chin straps or noise makers that make you question if a duck is dying a slow death when you hear them {because i said "i don't want those things"} but there was love, so much love and seriously, that was and will always be enough. 

to those of you who helped in creating a once in a lifetime birthday gift for me {you know who you are} you are so much more than enough. you are beyond amazing and i can't thank you enough. seriously, i can't. oh, and in case you're wondering, fifty feels greats and fits perfectly. i think i like being part of the club i was so graciously welcomed into. so, if you're already a member, howdy partner and if you'll be joining me in the future, i'll save you a spot…right next to me.

gone too soon

i've sat here all morning watching the news in disbelief. robin williams, gone. my heart goes out to his wife and children and anyone else who truly knew him. we all had the privilege of being entertained by him for years and as one of the greatest comedic geniuses ever, he will be missed. there are lovers out there of "good will hunting" and "mrs. doubtfire" and so many other robin williams movies, but the one that has always stayed with me is "patch adams." if you haven't seen it, i highly recommend it.

the in between

"it's hell writing and it's hell not writing. the only tolerable state is having just written."

robert hass

this is one of the most brilliant quotes i have ever come across. now for fun, take away "writing" and put in anything that feels like you or your life. for example; painting, taking pictures, organizing, sleeping, deciding, editing or maybe crying. i honestly feel like i could go on and on. everything seems to fit. come on, i know you want to try it.