fly to me

in our last home, i had a studio and an office, but in our new home i combined the two rooms to create a cozy work and play space. i pretty much adore having the things i love and the things that inspire me visually present. so now, instead of you trying to imagine what makes me happy, i can show you. by the way, sophie's ashes are in that sweet little urn. i also added her name tag and the sweet little foot print the vet's office made for us after she left us. gosh, i miss her.

at a recent flea market, i found this little shelving unit. it was ugly, but such a steal and i knew it needed a good home. my hubby cleaned it up, painted it pretty and now it's my most favorite piece. i know what you're thinking…"what did you pay for it?" because that's what i'd be thinking if i was reading this and i read "it was a steal," so i'll tell you. it was marked fifty and we talked the dealer down to thirty eight.  now to tell you a little bit about us…we love flea markets and we love to bargain…and we're good at it. hey, if you're not going to pat yourself on your back for your talents, who is? snort.

i won't lie. our fall has been amazingly beautiful. i think this happens on purpose. a little eye candy to make us deliriously happy before winter blows in and covers everything up. mother nature…you aren't very tricky. sometimes horribly mean, but not tricky.

to those of you who helped create this amazing canvas for my fiftieth birthday, thank you. you know who you are. it hangs front and center in my creative space and it will forever hold a special place in my heart. if you want to learn more, just ask. it was created by my very sneaky {and truly adored} husband. dang, if this wasn't like the seventeenth time he's gone behind my back to totally surprise me.

"why fit in when you were born to stand out?"

dr. seuss

friday randomness including nips

we finally watched part two of the hunger games…catching fire…and wow.wow.wow. it left us hanging and wanting more and now we're anxiously waiting for part three. yesterday we went to the theater and watched the skeleton twins. it was really good and considering it's hardly been advertised by word of mouth or with previews, i guess that makes it a "sleeper" that you should add to your netflix "i want to see this when it's available" list. you can thank me later.

my mammogram results came back and everything is fine. in fact, they were back in record speed, as in the next morning and i'm guessing that was the technician's way of apologizing to me. if that's the case, i'll take it.

speaking of breasts, can we talk about south facing nipples for a minute? please tell me you know where i'm going with this…please. okay fine, i'll spell it out. i'm not sure how many women over a certain age have nipples with a mind of their own and whether or not we can blame it on gravity or nursing babies {which is my excuse} or both,  but hike those nips up already. 

i walked by a woman at the grocery store earlier this week, who appeared to be my age and had just come from yoga or the gym and through her tight lycra/spandex or whatever fabric those tops are made out of, her nipples were below her boobs and facing south. i'm sorry, but that's just not where nipples belong. so please, for the sake of women everywhere and the pride we have in being the stronger sex, wink wink, take two extra seconds out of your day and manually grab those wonderful boobs of yours, settle them gently in your bra or your yoga top and give them a view, by making sure they're looking out and even a little bit up. believe me, they'll thank you.

now i'm off in search of the "perfect" pair of jeans. i hear all the time that they exist, but i've yet to find {okay maybe once years ago} absolute perfection in the denim i wear. sure, i have had some favorites that still reside in my closet and unfortunately with just the wrong move or a sneeze, due to being so loved and thread bare, could fall apart and right off of me and onto the ground, but were they ever "perfect?" hmmmmm, i'll have to think about that for awhile. anyhow, i hope you all have a wonderful weekend filled with the amazing colors and air that only fall can bring.

and the tears came

i had my yearly mammogram appointment today and cried an hour later. as far as i know, everything is fine, but when i questioned the technician about the number of films she took, as in not enough, she said she had everything she needed. thirty minutes later i get a call and it was her. she said, "i'm sorry i misunderstood you. i didn't get one of the shots that i was supposed to take. can you come back in?" by that point i was across town doing errands and emotionally her call hit me like a brick. i wanted to scream "you jerk" into the phone, "what do you mean you misunderstood me when i questioned how many pictures you took and you said you had everything you needed" and then i wanted to throw my phone on the floor and stomp on it. 

i know the routine. i know how to count. i knew she hadn't taken the same number of films on each breast, yet she said "we're all good here" and opened the door for me. i walked away, breathing a sigh of relief that my mammogram was over. slipping back into my shirt and bra and smelling my armpits void of deodorant, wondering if i should use one of their little deodorant pads, but assuming the perfumed smell would kill me and that my body odor was a better option, i still wasn't sure she knew what she was talking about.

i'm not sure why my yearly mammogram "gets to me" the way it does. but it does. maybe it's because i grew up with a grandmother who had had breast cancer and a mastectomy or maybe it's because the words "breast cancer" unfortunately seem to be so terribly common. anyhow, it doesn't really matter why it affects me the way it does, it just does. 

incompetence affects me, too.

i know i should give her the benefit of the doubt. that i should be understanding. that i should maybe  believe that she has something going on in her life that was distracting her. BUT, i'm sorry. it was my fifteen minute appointment and a pretty damn important one and she should have been focused on what she was doing AND she should have listened to me when i questioned her. in the end,  did my tears gain me anything? absolutely not. but they came anyway. and i let them.

now i wait. and pray...that this year like every year, the phone doesn't ring and that the letter containing the  words  "your mammogram was good" arrives in my mailbox by the end of the week.

just don't

i don't really have any words tonight as i sit here typing which is unfortunate. i think if i did have some, they'd be really really good and keep you glued here for hours. or not. snort. anyhow, i did come across a quote yesterday on facebook that i fell in love with and the funny thing is i don't remember loving it then as much as i do now after reading it a few times.

speaking of reading something again and maybe again…do you ever read a book you loved the first time, a second time? this was a discussion at my sister's house last week after i said i had just re-read "the language of flowers."

movies are a given. i watch them once, twice, thirty seven times if you're talking about "dirty dancing," but books?? come on, share with me!!

and now the quote i fell in love with…

"don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your soul according to fashion. rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.

frank kafka

the shower comes alive

in our new house, we chose a random patterned marbly looking swirl for the tile in our bathroom and every morning while i stand in the shower under the streams of hot water trying their best to wake me gently, i wait. eventually, the walls come alive.

there's a gangly "none of my limbs are coordinated" running cow with an oversized adams apple next to a very a muscular arm holding a penguin's head. near the floor is a little pigeoned toe boy hailing a cab. sitting on top of the little boy's head is a gigantic slug with bunny ears and above him is a lobster claw and a friendly flying bat. the hearts i find are laying sideways and last night after almost a month of being surrounded by my imaginary world, a deer appeared. i honestly hadn't seen it until last night. somehow the light coming from the setting sun, while the full moon waiting impatiently dressed and ready to impress all of us, had fallen perfectly and i stood there almost dumbfounded to think the deer had waited this long to come out and play.

the past few days, fall has rebounded after a cold scare and is doing a gorgeous dance making us get up and out and join her. this winter, i'll be hibernating and reorganizing our "moved twice in four months, whaaaaat?" lives, so now is the time to just soak it all in…parks, leaves, apple orchards, fallen walnuts and acorns and pinecones…i love it all. oh, and sweaters. you can't forget about the sweaters. i bought my first one yesterday with some wool in it. i have been believing for ever and ever, but not knowing for sure that i'm allergic to wool…so keep your fingers crossed for me. it's a really cute sweater.

yep, i'm being sneaky here a little bit in case you were wondering. these are the stools at our kitchen island and the top photo is the light fixture above our dining room table. i'm still not ready for a whole house tour, but little snippets are fun. happy weekend everyone a day early!!