11.11.2014

hope has everything to do with everything


this past weekend, staying in like we love to do, we watched "the fault in our stars." what a beautiful love story. there are books and movies that i fall into hard. they tend to take up space in my heart for months, sometimes even years and as i go about my everyday living, i remember little pieces of them and feel like i find them laying around as reminders of what's good and bad or right and wrong in the world. reminders of what love is. and hope. and why we love in the first place and why hearts feel the way they do. oh yes, this was one of those.

i came home in tears yesterday from the food pantry. there was a new client that i worked with and something about the pain and sorrow that normally stays in the deepest part of one's eyes and is rarely exposed,  especially in front of strangers, took ahold of my gentle heart and held it the same way a child holds his mother's hand. there was sadness in those eyes, too and he seemed so scared. maybe it was because he seemed to be the same age as our son, or maybe even younger, that i was so drawn to him. i really don't know for sure, but when he asked me how his thirty three pounds of food and the clothing he found in our clothing center could be bagged so he could carry everything on his bike home, i took a deep breath and helped him while telling my heart to hang on. granted, many of our clients have bikes for their only mode of transportation, but there was just something about this boy and all the "aloneness" he encompassed. now i'm praying that i see him again. that he comes back. that i made him feel safe. that maybe if he was hopeless, he found some hope.

i'm still looking for the perfect organizer/calendar/notes and dates for everything/i need to write and keep everything together 2015 planner. do any of you have that? or know where i can get that? and do you want one if i find it?




6 comments:

  1. So glad you and your heart were there to help that young man. Not an accident.❤

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  2. No idea on the planner, but boy, do I love those sheep.

    I so admire your work at the pantry and as Leslie said, your experience was no accident.

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  3. You will be blessed !!!!!!

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  4. You have such a beautiful heart, Beth!! And yes, I have a suggestion on the planner. I am a bit of an addict (a bit might be stretching it...full on is more like it) and have tried oh so many over the years. But this one, the Passion Planner, does it all for me. PLUS, I just totally fell in love with her story. I used it last year and just ordered it again for next. It covers all the necessities for me in a format I will actually use. That is a real first. Can't say enough good stuff about it. http://www.passionplanner.com/

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  5. I am looking for a calendar that will organize me next year. I usually end up at Barnes and Noble.
    Sometimes someone just touches our hearts. I hope he comes back too. The image of carrying it on the
    bicycle touched me as I remember that situation when I was a girl. Finding a bicycle, painting it, and carrying
    my mothers meager groceries in the basket and a watermelon under my arm. I will never forget from where I came.

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  6. Oh Beth, sometimes your words say exactly how I have always felt, but never had the gift of translating to my head what my heart feels. About the movies, the books, the young man -- even one of your previous posts about the shapes in the bathroom floor!! I used to see images in my grandparents living room ceiling, (it was cracked plaster) :) my grandma would say oh honey, I think you are hallucinating! lol. I love your blog SO much. The pictures & your beautiful words! You definitely belong in print! Cami (camioblue)

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