this past weekend, staying in like we love to do, we watched "the fault in our stars." what a beautiful love story. there are books and movies that i fall into hard. they tend to take up space in my heart for months, sometimes even years and as i go about my everyday living, i remember little pieces of them and feel like i find them laying around as reminders of what's good and bad or right and wrong in the world. reminders of what love is. and hope. and why we love in the first place and why hearts feel the way they do. oh yes, this was one of those.
i came home in tears yesterday from the food pantry. there was a new client that i worked with and something about the pain and sorrow that normally stays in the deepest part of one's eyes and is rarely exposed, especially in front of strangers, took ahold of my gentle heart and held it the same way a child holds his mother's hand. there was sadness in those eyes, too and he seemed so scared. maybe it was because he seemed to be the same age as our son, or maybe even younger, that i was so drawn to him. i really don't know for sure, but when he asked me how his thirty three pounds of food and the clothing he found in our clothing center could be bagged so he could carry everything on his bike home, i took a deep breath and helped him while telling my heart to hang on. granted, many of our clients have bikes for their only mode of transportation, but there was just something about this boy and all the "aloneness" he encompassed. now i'm praying that i see him again. that he comes back. that i made him feel safe. that maybe if he was hopeless, he found some hope.
i'm still looking for the perfect organizer/calendar/notes and dates for everything/i need to write and keep everything together 2015 planner. do any of you have that? or know where i can get that? and do you want one if i find it?