11.05.2014

the climb


i'd like to blame my sleepless nights on menopause, as that is totally happening here, but who am i kidding. i get to blame my confusion, hot flashes, migraines, tears that could fill a bucket, loss of appetite and overall "who am i and what has happened to my body" on menopause, so for now i'll just keep the "sleepless nights" blame on day light savings. it's good to spread things out.


we're still getting settled in our new place and even with all the boxes long gone,  i'm struggling to call it home. if i follow the saying, "home is where the heart it is" then yes, this is home. my heart is here and the and heart of the man i love more than life is here, but still,  it's not really home home. i don't know if it's all the gypsy in my blood from our years of moving around or menopause {see, there it is again} but deep down i know home home is still out there. waiting for me. somewhere. 

all i hope for {and most recently pray for} is that when i find it, it reaches out for me and grabs my hand so tightly that i can't pull away or even breathe for a few seconds. that's how you know, i think, when something is right. if it takes your breath away, well...you better hold onto it tighter and with more strength than you've held onto anything else before.


there's a new issue of artful blogging available…at barnes and noble…or online…and i'm in it. it's so exciting when you get to see yourself in print, yet at the same time, a little scary…or something similar to scary which i don't have a word for but means, oh my gosh…am i really good enough at anything to be in print, in a bookstore? anyhow, one of my long time blogging friends talked beautifully about it and if i had had my act together {darn menopause} i would have hooked you all up to her give-away…but i didn't and the give-away is over…but still, it's worth stopping by her place for a little, "well, hello there ."

13 comments:

  1. Congratulations on being in Artful Blogging!

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  2. What a beautiful place to walk. And OF COURSE you are good enough to be published. MORE THAN.

    Wishing you better sleep, too. And everything else you dream of...

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  3. Sounds like lots of internal and external stuff going on and I hope that peace will engulf you and take your "breathe" away…..So happy that you are being published; so well deserved...

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  4. I'm glad you're getting the boxes gone and that you are settling in. Perhaps it will become "home" in good time -- just not quite yet!

    Meanwhile, I love the article and photos used. I felt a certain degree of ecstatic joy to see one of my longtime blogger friends featured! It's a lovely magazine and they don't pick just anyone! Cheers and congratulations!

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  5. I have got to get this issue! It's so fun being published!!! I still have a stack of AB mags from my 15 mins of fame. Anyway...I have been a crappy blogger. But glad to be back and posting today. You'll find your home...you will. xo

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  6. Congratulations on your being published. Those pictures are beautiful, a great place to unwind relax and listen to one's deepest thoughts. I hope you find the home you're wanting to find and be able to sleep well soon.

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  7. So many things speak to me in this post. I'm not yet menopausal, but give me five minutes. Seriously, I'm nearly there, and I'm definitely starting to feel the shift.

    And then there's the home/inner gypsy issue. I share this with you big time. I grew up for 18 years in one house, but as soon as I hit adulthood, I was on the road, moving, moving, moving. I've never stayed any one place for very long. Todd and I bought our current house 2 years ago, and I love it, but I know there's another home waiting for me after this one. I can just feel it.

    And I get what you said about the Artful Blogging publication, too. It's always a strange feeling, but your beautiful work speaks for itself! Thanks for linking to my blog, too. :)

    xo Gigi

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  8. Congratulations! You and Gigi in the same issue makes it a keeper issue for sure!

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  9. Congratulations! Artful Blogging is one of my favorite magazines. Love your photos! They ring out home to me...trees, rocks, water!!!!

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  10. I entered the give away, but then couldn't wait. Off to Barnes and Noble I did run. I just LOVE this issue.
    Good luck with the menopause. I was going through a tough time when I had that experience and never
    knew what was causing the crying. There is a bit of gypsy in me too, though this house we are in now is
    the most like home. I still have wander lust.

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  11. And by the way, you are definitely good enough to be in Artful blogging.

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  12. Just found your blog. What you are experiencing at this time is exactly how I feel. Thankful I have what I have but I know I'm not in the place I should be...and where is that? It just feel good that I'm not the only one.

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  13. I know exactly how you feel about seeing your name in print. When my first essay was published, it was so hard to write a second because I imagined it proving that the first one was a fluke. I had to climb over that mountain and keep writing and just not care. P.S. Blame the sleeplessness on menopause! I do!

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