no jinxing allowed

i feel like time runs away from me. 

i'm constantly looking at the clock, the calendar and the lack of daylight and wanting an explanation.

but that's life, isn't it?

it's been a foggy, warm and wet december and i haven't heard one complaint, no matter where i go or who i talk to. i don't want to jinx myself, but my big black puffy winter coat…

well, never mind.

we're watching the voice finale' and i want all four of the finalists to win.

fine, whatever. i know i know that can't happen,

but come on, what a seriously incredible amount of talent this season.

so let me make a prediction…

deep breath…

jordan

jeffrey

emily

barrett

don't blink

i blinked and december arrived and it's not that i wasn't ready or prepared, it was just that i was surprised, i guess. 

surprised by the shy and quiet entrance she made. surprised that she didn't bring loads of snow with her. {and loving her for the fact that she didn't} surprised that it's been so long since i've written anything here and now that i am, realizing how much i miss this space and wishing "the writing mojo" would come and tackle me and hold me hostage. 

i wish i could add, "for like real" at the end of what i just wrote and to be honest, i did, but then deleted it, after a surly 16 year old gum chewing torn jeans teenager popped into my head as the visual that went along with it.

for like real

any who…i guess before we do get the above mentioned snow, even though it's sunny and in the forties right now, i wanted to share these fall {i still have hundreds of them} photos.

the first one is one of my absolute favorites. as we were walking in one of our go-to parks, he {as in best hubby ever. not that i've had multiple husbands to compare him to, but you know what i mean} had to take a phone call and as i walked ahead of him still shooting all the dried up memories of summer, i lowered my camera and shot behind me. yep, i'm talented like that.

and 

then the dried up, let me wrap my arms around you and protect you forever leaves. 

well they just spoke to me as the dried up anythings and every things always do.

swoon

because it's my job...

it's not really my job, but every fall i act like it is. removing the seeds from milkweed pods that haven't naturally "let go" is just something i have love to do. oh, and to do the job "right" in case you want to be hired as one of my assistants, you can't just let them go go. you have to make a wish or two {or a hundred} on them first. 

just saying.

dang…just stop it already

this weekend we turn the clocks "back" in order to "fall" and dang it, that means the days will now feel like oh, i don't know…really short and really dark. okay fine, i know things could be so much worse and that fall has been nothing but gracious this year, but when it starts getting dark so early in the afternoon, my entire body looses its natural rhythm and suddenly mean things i don't want to say, just come spewing out at unsuspecting family members and then those leftover bags of chocolate halloween candy tucked way out of sight and used for emergencies only, well they suddenly disappear causing raised eyebrows and pointed fingers to run rampant through the house. see, daylight savings doesn't really save anything. {laughing}

today i went through my winter sweaters {because i like to torture myself} and declared myself unfit to live in wisconsin. {laughing again} sorry, but i'm cracking myself up as i'm writing this tonight. anyhow, i have to be honest and say i'm not really a sweater girl and here's why. if it's cold enough to wear a sweater, then it's cold enough to wear a coat and sweaters under coats are usually incredibly bulky and uncomfortable. soooo, much more comfortable {to me} are tank tops, with long sleeved t-shirts and then layers. lots of layers including light weight sweaters. and scarves. always, a scarf.

i can't believe i just wrote about bulky sweaters. {laughing even more} it must be bedtime!

ohhhh...yellow

this time of year, the shades of oranges, browns, fading greens and yellow…{oh, hello all of you beautiful sexy shades of yellow. busy later?…wink wink}…simply warm me up and steal my attention. honestly, they don't even have to fight for it. they just get it...and thrown to the wayside is everything else. dinner? oh wait, let me stare at the maple trees for a few more hours minutes. time to go home? let me just gather oh, like 500 more leaves {or acorns or walnuts} since i don't want to hurt any of their feelings and leave some behind.

as i type this, i'm sitting in panera. i've read so many times how you need to remove yourself from your comfortable surroundings to put yourself into what it is you're working on, or what it is you want to "fall into" for a few hours. so i'm trying it. without laundry or the television or the country station with all my favorite songs to dance and sing to or lists to write for target or facebook and instagram black holes that suck you down into another world or yet another cup of tea {perfected with the exact amount of creamer and honey} to drink or the construction workers {with their noisy trucks} building another condo on our street to watch, i can just write...and i can just edit photos.

ghost hunting

i walked around the property honestly feeling like just maybe, it was haunted. granted, it was daytime and glorious outside, but still…ghosts don't only come out at night do they?

i looked in the windows and under the porch and was literally a bit leery of a small outbuilding that might have been an old outhouse {but seemed just the right size for storing bodies} but nothing. the wind didn't blow differently and there weren't any strange noises, but still…places like this have to be a little bit haunted, right?

the hunting of the haunted will continue, because old and abandoned buildings and houses are something i simply love to explore. to be honest though, i don't really want a true haunting experience, where i get like scared scared and can't sleep at night unless a light is on. instead, someday when i walk away from an old and abandoned site, smiling and satisfied with the photos on my camera, i just want to know that i wasn't alone.

because they fall in the fall

walnuts . leaves . petals . berries . seeds . pods

they've either fallen to the ground, will fall soon or they're falling at this very moment

{weak, but that's my attempt at being somewhat poetic}

if the men in your life need lightweight sweaters, old navy always has the best options this time of year and they're on sale. you're welcome. 

spotted earlier this past week….ugh, christmas decorations at michael's and then last night…deep breaths...we saw our first christmas commercial. double ugh. i don't know about you, but i prefer my holidays one at a time, equally spaced out and without any kind of overlap to the upcoming holidays.

so right now, there are pumpkins on my front porch which in "my book" means christmas decorations should still be packed up and nowhere in sight.

anyone watching the blacklist? ohhhhh, it's my favorite show ever…

and the voice, lordy what amazing singers this season.

one of those photos that really doesn't belong here, as i'm sure it was taken a few weeks earlier than the rest of them that i'm sharing here, or i just happened to find a still very much alive family of flowers in the fall…anyhow, don't forget when shooting…shoot from your ankles. the photos will always surprise you!

happy weekend everyone!!!

october who?

september was a blur, so hello october. treat me kindly. okay?

i don't go to the mall anymore. i wish i had a great explanation or reason why, but i don't other than i feel like at any moment while being inside one, my head could swell from an allergic reaction and explode. 

so the other day when i had the brilliant idea of going to the apple store {which unfortunately can only be accessed from within our mall} for a new iPhone case, i must have been running a fever {or had some other illogical disease, probably with the same symptoms of simple stupidity} for thinking this outing might be slightly entertaining.

the perfume hanging in the air in the department store that i had to walk through on the way there about took me out, so i'm lucky to even be here typing this, and then...the people. sorry if you're a regular mall shopper who can spend hours in a mall and actually enjoy your time there, but the people. oh lord, the people. i swear, some of them have not seen daylight in weeks. have you seen the walking dead series? well, maybe enough said about that. 

anyhow, i didn't find a phone case, as the apple store has gotten quite simplistic and limited in their ways, but in walking by all the other stores, i realized that as what always happens this time of year, there's a new fashion trend for the fall and i "need to get me some of that gorgeousness." 

but, there's no way i'm going back to the mall to shop. instead, hello you and you…let's be besties. K?

i just finished reading "the shack." did you read it? 

i'd love to have an online book club to discuss this book, 

because holy shit, it needs discussing. are you in?

last but not least, here's were i raise my glass to deb, who is diving back into blogging again and wanting all of us to join her by doing what we all used to do regularly and with so much love and passion….blog.

we all know that facebook and instagram have taken over and blogging has fallen way, way behind, but like deb, i love typing and writing and sharing…and well…blogging has always felt like home to me, too. so here's to more posts, more reading of other blogs and to more commenting. 

i see you fall

three weeks ago yesterday, my father-in-law had a mild stroke. he spent the first week in ICU after enduring surgery to repair the blockage and then he spent another week in rehab. we all feel blessed with how his recovery is coming along and extremely grateful that he was able to return to his own home.

always on my mind is photography and i rarely leave home without my camera bag, but the past few weeks have been a blur and really amazingly hot, so my memory card is sad and lonely. thankfully, i still have some photos from earlier this summer that i can share here.

but as i sit here typing, the weather is changing. fall is literally watching me through the open window on our screened in porch and reminding me how much i adore "her" by sending in a cool breeze every few minutes to brush up against my skin. "hello fall, i see you. i feel you."

i picked up the newest issue of "bella grace" yesterday and as always, it's gorgeous. it's also filled with many new artists, which is like a breath of fresh air. i found it at joann fabrics, which just happens to be in my top five of most irritating stores ever, but i actually got through the store, including the fabric cutting line, without any injuries. i know, right? 

unless you love that store, then you have no idea what i'm even talking about and it would now be your turn to tell me what store or stores irritate you. see, i'm fair like that :)

really.already.wow

i really have no idea how august got past me as quickly as she did, but dang it she did and unfortunately with us not really ever getting to know each other very well. so now i have no other choice but to accept that she's gone and hope that september and i can have a longer and hopefully a more in depth love affair that moves at a much slower pace.

do you meditate?

i think i should try it, but unfortunately the words "clear your mind" are words i can't even fathom.

 precious in all of her crookedness, right?

if you know what this "deep bluish purple looks like tiny blackberries" plant is, please tell me.

yup…i'm an aperture lover. 

{sorry, nerd photographer lingo}

and yes, 

this picture was "photo bombed" by a flower. it happens.

fifty one feels fine

i thought maybe for my birthday i'd write and share fifty one things about "life" but it felt like a task once i started 1. blah 2. blah blah  3. blah blah blah and a daunting one at that…so instead, this will just be a simple post with maybe a few words of wisdom thrown in here and there.

today i followed my gut. unfortunately and sadly, this is not something i can pride myself in always doing. it has taken years and years to believe that what i feel is worth listening to and following through on and wow, talk about empowering. i applaud all of you who have consistently been able to do this.

i live for the light. i don't care where it comes from or which direction it lands or even if i have to chase it…i simply love it. without it, i feel lost, quiet, lethargic and impatient. have you ever noticed how some people really need sleep, while others maybe really need silence or to be alone often? obviously we all need something and light is my need. well, that and hot tea with a couple of cookies on the side. what is it that you need?

i have been reading some great books lately, which is not normally a summer thing for me, but wow, sitting and reading on our screened in porch, has swallowed me up and i love it. i also love the monthly book sale i go to where the books are usually fifty cents a piece.

"when are you going to see that you keep moving in the wrong direction to get the things you say you really want?"

"wherever we are in the world, we mostly live in the small space between our ears."

both of these are from "tapestry of fortune" by elizabeth berg and are fantastic.

i don't usually take the time to keep words or quotes from the books i read, but obviously the two sayings above caught my attention and now "every last cuckoo" by kate maloy occupies my hands and  with the end looming, i'm a bit sad. it's been so good.

well, the kids are arriving and my birthday dinner is almost ready. it's been a good day. i even painted two pictures that i actually like, which never happens. fifty one…let's do this!!!

and just like that...

july is waving good-bye, but before she runs away, i captured what she's leaving behind

~

fading colors and bees and berries and an unexpected heart

~

tell me you see it

simply summer

there was a segment on the today show recently that questioned how effective our memories are, due to the fact that we don't have to remember anything like we used to, since everything important to us lives in our phones. one of their questions pointed to the fact that most of us can remember our childhood phone numbers from years ago, even though we probably don't know the numbers of those closet to us that we call daily or weekly. luckily, this is not me…i actually have a ridiculous memory for numbers. 

this past week, three movies threw themselves at me and i have to say, i really liked all of them. they are all very different from each other, but they all held my attention. 1} THE BEST OFFER with geoffrey rush 2} WORDS AND PICTURES with clive owen and juliette binoche 3} THE JUDGE with robert downey jr.

have you seen any of these movies? tell me your thoughts?

i'm reading an elizabeth berg novel, forgetting how much i love her and will devour "tapestry of fortunes" if i'm not careful.  i also just finished "outside the lines" by amy hatvany, a book about mental illness, which was so incredibly good.

i'm not really counting, but there are twenty two more days until i turn fifty one. okay, maybe i'm counting.

all i know is that this means our summer is going by way too quickly and that makes me sad. i love having the windows open, the air conditioning off and the 3 days a week farmer's markets. speaking of farmer's markets and well, fresh tomatoes…is anyone else out there a lover of bruschetta? i've declared bruschetta my "summer pizza" and honestly i could eat it everyday. thankfully my hubby loves it, too and is the king of tomato slicing and dicing. 

i hate to admit it, but i'm still watching the bachelorette train wreck. anyone else care to admit this, too?