the corners of my mind

dull and murky like the corners of a very used watercolor tin and then magically changing, becoming lighter and brighter, like someone has thrown water all over it. 

my description of a wisconsin winter sky when the sun fails to shine. 

~~~~~

i'm not sure where my blog is going to take me this year, but i hope it's somewhere wonderful.

unfortunately, it seems that so many bloggers have found instagram and facebook to be easier ways to communicate and where they spend their time writing and sharing and i have to admit, it's easy for me to fall into that same trap. i don't think any of us who are tried and true bloggers want to give up on our blogs, but in a world filled with immediate gratification, it's happening.

this space will always be a "home" of mine no matter what and it's really up to me to decide how cozy i want this place to be and how often i want to open the door up and say, "well hey there, come on inside." i keep hoping a feeling will come over me and that i'll want to rip up all the dull and dirty carpet in this so called "home" and with white painted hardwood floors instead {because that's what i would do in a real house built from 2x4's} you'll find me dancing all around and throwing words and photos all over the place. 

it's this new year, as it's still quite young, i'm not going to put any pressure on myself by declaring anything right now, but what i think would maybe work for me, is a schedule. a schedule that includes two days a week where i have to spend the majority of those days in my office/studio, making something. no laundry or grocery shopping or cleaning or anything else could take place on those days and instead, only creating would/could happen. 

so for now, that's my idea. that's what i think might work...

and at this point, this is my second blog post in ten days, which should be considered a record of sorts, so i think i'm doing okay. oh, and i'm sitting in my studio/office, not on the couch or in the family room, so wow, i just kind of impressed myself. 

ps…the above mentioned cleaning thing. yeah, i really don't hardly clean anymore. sure, i pick things up and the house to the naked eye looks clean, but don't get your face close to my hardwood floors, okay?... and whatever you do,  don't look in the corners of anything. what is it with corners? 

pss…this photo was taken with my iphone 6s. why is it that my big girl camera, my dslr with my beloved interchangeable lenses, seems so heavy and big and awkward lately. remember that immediate gratification thing i mentioned above. guilty. often.

hello 2016. i've been waiting for you.

i'm not sure i actually ever gave up on 2015, but holy crap. i surely could have.

it was a year that chewed me…us…up, spit us back out and then…well…let's just say i'm beyond ecstatic that it's behind us.

i've been reading blog posts, instagram feeds and facebook pages and actually everyone seems to be opening their arms and bringing 2016 in for a "where have you been all my life" hug, making me realize i'm not alone in rolling 2015 up into the kitchen rug, throwing it over my shoulder, tossing it in the trunk, driving down a deserted country road and finding just the perfect spot to pull over and dispose of it. okay fine. so i watch a lot of murder mysteries, which won't be mysteries anymore, since now you know that the bad stuff is always rolled up in the rug. oh and just to be honest, i could never carry that rolled up rug over my shoulder. but i could drag it.

anyhow...

in the past, oh i don't know, maybe 6 years now, i've been finding a word to carry me into and through the new year {with susannah and hundreds of other women} instead of making a resolution {as we know that those never seem to work anyhow} and now if you're ready…oh the excitement is building now... the word i've chosen for 2016 is…drumroll please…LOVE.

granted, i am so incredibly blessed to love and be loved, so that's not the kind of love i'm talking about. instead, i want love to be the common denominator in everything i do and see and hold and say. i want to really love getting up in the morning and i want to love my dreams and the food i choose to eat and the paths i walk and the words i write and the photos i take and the things that take me by surprise and the clothes i wear. i want to love everything, or at least a whole lot more things, the way i love fresh sheets on the bed and long hot showers and unopened milk weed pods.

that kind of love.

so will that mean i'll do less complaining? maybe. ah sheesh, who am i kidding, probably not. will it mean i'll be more laid back and i won't let the little things get me all riled up? absolutely not. if that were the case, my word would have been patience. duh.

honestly, looking back at what i've just written, it's clear to see that i really don't know exactly what expectations i have of LOVE or even know how it will guide me and maybe that's the whole point and maybe trying to figure it all out ahead of time is possibly the worst thing i could be doing and the biggest waste of time. all i know for sure, is that when i started concentrating on finding my word this year, LOVE jumped out at me everywhere and constantly. for days. i kid you not, it was actually a bit scary.

so here's to 2016 and to LOVE…unless i change my mind. oh the joy of being a woman.

ps…this was my word last year

pss…until i changed it to this

and even with changing my word,  last year was still really sucky. just saying.